Tag: Mom

A Letter to My Mom

Posted April 13, 2021 by Rowena in Family | 10 Comments


Dear Mom,

Today marks the tenth anniversary of your death. I miss you so much and I think about you a lot, especially lately. We’ve been through a lot in the last ten years but I want you to know that Dad is doing well. He’s still faithfully going to the same dialysis center that you went to. He’s still golfing every Tuesday and Thursday with Eric and Lucky. He’s still eating everything he’s not supposed to be eating and drinking Coke, instead of Diet Coke. He’s still the same happy-go-lucky man that you married and though he’s getting older in age, he’s still a young kid at heart and we love him to pieces (as does everyone that comes into contact with him). He turns 80 this year so that will be a big celebration for the family. I talked to him this morning and he was getting ready for golf and still cracking jokes with me and Ingrid about everything under the sun. I know that he misses you as well and he plans to visit your grave today after golf to spend some time with you.

I won’t make this a sappy post about how much I miss you and can’t live without you but I hope you know that you are missed and you are still loved by everyone left behind. Lots of things have happened in the last ten years. You have 25 grandkids and 3 great-grandchildren. Yeah, your grandkids are adding to your legacy and I know that you would have loved to hug all of the kids close so I’m sad that you’re not here to see all of your babies all grown and some, with their own kids. After the ones you knew and loved, Lillian was born then Caleb came not too long after Lily, then finally Rockne joined the family. After Rocky was born, then came Caiden, Chloe’s oldest, and then Jax, Jarred’s son, and last but not least, Princess Lasi.

In other news, I moved to Vegas so I’m not in California today to sit with you and the rest of the family at your gravesite like we normally do on the anniversary of your death. Pete and Delene talked about going to the cemetery this morning so I’m sure you have loads of flowers to decorate your resting place. We’re in a pandemic right now so the world is a lot different from when you were here with us. Everyone wears masks (or well, they’re supposed to be anyway) when they go out in public, public places can’t have more than 25% capacity though certain places are starting to open up again. It’s been a pretty rough few years for everyone around. We’ve lost so many friends and family that we grew up with to a pretty devastating disease that spread through the entire world. The world got angry and is being mean to our Asian friends because they’re being blamed for the hard times we’re facing right now and it’s been pretty devastating to wake up every day to more unfortunate news from around the world. So it’s been hard and pretty scary too but we’re getting through because what else can we do? We’re a strong bunch though so I’m sure we’ll weather this storm as best as we can.

I miss you, Mom. I miss everything about you. I miss hearing your voice, laughing with you over everything under the sun, and I even miss doing your dialysis stuff for you every single night. Remember the first time that Dad left us alone for the weekend so that he can be the Priesthood representative for the Youth Conference and I forgot to clip one of your dialysis tubes so it flooded your bedroom and you were so mad and I was so scared that I called Dad at midnight, crying because I thought I killed you? It didn’t make a lick of sense since you were healthy enough to yell the house down but I was so scared that night. Do you remember when we laughed and laughed and laughed about it when Dad got home? You’ve left behind a lifetime of memories that I cherish now. You’ve taught me a lot about life, about how to live, and though I’m not perfect, I’m trying to be the kind of daughter that you’d be proud of. I’m strong-minded just like you and stubborn as all get out but I promise I’m working on it. LOL. I love you, Mom and I hope that you’re resting in paradise because you deserve it. Even though you were meaner than all get out, you’re still my favorite and I miss you every day.

Rest in peace, Mom.

Love you always,
Ween

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Throwback Thursday (1)

Posted November 19, 2015 by Rowena in Features | 4 Comments

TBT I missed my Mom last night.

I’m not even sure why I missed her more last night than any other night but she was on my mind as I waited for Arrow to come on. I was going through my inbox, reading through very old emails to Holly, Ames, Grace and then Mulu and Therese.

Mulu, I came across an email where you were making fun of me because of the attack of the Lilies and I laughed for a freaking long time.

For those of you who don’t know, the jist of that story is I made my Mom so freaking mad over some burnt cake. She didn’t like my attitude toward the burnt cake (I burned the cake, not her) and she would not let it go. Looking back at it now, I’m pretty sure she was mad about the attitude I was giving her and not the actual cake but back then? You couldn’t tell me that she wasn’t mad over a stupid burned cake.

I don’t remember how the story came up when I was telling Mulu, but I remember telling the story and not trying to be funny. I was dead ass serious when I told Mulu and when I was done, she did the one thing I wasn’t expecting (but should have expected, considering it’s freaking Mulu).

She laughed her butt off. And it wasn’t one of those haha fake laughs. No, it was a full out, bent at the waist, can’t catch her breath laugh.

She didn’t share in my stubborn anger over how extra I thought my Mom was over the burned cake, or fear for my life because my Mom did lunge for me, ready to choke my ass out, she didn’t do anything that a good friend would do.

She just laughed and laughed and laughed.

Though now that I think about it…maybe I was extra. LOL.

After that, she referred to that incident and even my Mom at times as the “Attack of the Lilies” (<---- those of you that didn't grow up with me, my Mom's name was Lillian but we called her Lily). At the time, I did not find it funny.

It’s hilarious to me now.

While I was looking through old pictures to find some really great gems to post on the blog, I came across this picture.

TBT-1 This picture was taken years ago, one Mother’s Day at the Lawndale Building. It was after Church and I remember trying to be patient while my Mom joined her friends to do what they always do after Church (take pictures) and I remember my friend Foti’s Mom making me take this picture. You don’t say no to Foti’s Mom so I dutifully posed for this picture.

We’re coming up on the fifth anniversary of my Mom’s death and there still isn’t a day that I don’t think about her. I can still hear her voice in my head, remember little things about her that make me smile or stories like the one above that make me laugh. There are also things that I miss about her so much that it makes me cry and that is why this picture made it onto the blog as my first Throwback Thursday post.

You never really get over the death of a loved one but there will come a time when you laugh again, when it’s not hard to be happy again. My Mom taught me a lot of life lessons. She taught me to love God, honor my parents, bring Brenna up in the Church and to be a good person.

She also taught me to not burn cakes. 🙂

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