Tag: Nu’umau Ward

Throwback Thursday: Saying Goodbye to David

Posted July 26, 2018 by Rowena in Features | 10 Comments

This week’s Throwback Thursday post will be a little different from my normal old school book review. It’ll be much more personal as I’m deeply saddened and need an outlet to get all of this out.

Recently, a good friend of mine passed away and he’s been on my mind ever since. We said our final goodbyes to him yesterday and I thought his funeral was a good one. He was loved so much and it was evident at the funeral services. His family came out in droves and so did his friends.

My best friend Theresa and I have been reminiscing about all of the shenanigans we used to get into with our group of friends, David included. David was one of those boys in Church that was so bad. In Samoan, we call it ulavale. David and Ralph were the very definition of ulavale. Think, Dennis the Menace type of shenanigans. They were bad in Church and they were bad at school. As a kid, David and Ralph used to make me so mad because I was the good girl who worried about our Sunday School teacher’s feelings. So as a child, David and Ralph were not my favorite people but that changed once we started high school.

David and Ralph were still bad but we became close during our freshman year in high school. I laughed so much being in their company and I got into so much trouble hanging out with them because they were always getting up to no good. Some of my favorite memories were during that first year at North High School because they were so fearless and always up for anything but the one thing that I appreciated more than anything during that year was how protective they were of me.

Sure, they were out doing bad boy things and I was around for some of it but I never felt like I was in danger because they took such good care of me. It didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing, I was able to freely enjoy whatever it was that we were doing because David and Ralph took care of everything else. I still don’t know how we survived our freshman year of high school, but we did. We survived being chased by a car full of gangbangers. We survived many good ol’ Samoan punishments, the changing of friends, Ralph and David’s many fights on and off campus. I’m telling you, they were such bad boys but I loved them.

After our freshman year in high school, David and Ralph transferred to other schools and our little Nu’umau gang (the only kind of gang I was in, a Church one) broke up. I was still friends with both of them but David was sent to St. Louis so we didn’t see each other all that much. We reconnected years later, as adults at our friend Foti’s father’s funeral. It was early last year. It surprised absolutely no one that our first outing together as a reunited group of friends was to the strip club. David drove us around that night and when I mentioned that I hadn’t ever been to a strip club, David drove us to one. SMH, what an experience that was and I do believe that I blogged about that briefly.

That night jumped off a most epic summer for our circle of friends. We spent most of the week in each others company, trying to figure out what to do. Most of the time, we would meet up at David’s and hang out there. David would grill countless jalapeno burgers, so many jalapeno burgers that I would bitch and moan about wanting to eat something different but those guys would just laugh at me and hand me a burger, which I ate.

Fourth of July won’t be the same anymore because nobody threw a 4th of July BBQ quite like David did. His parties were always epic and over the top but so much fun. Even when he wasn’t throwing a party, every 4th of July, I would think of him.

As summer wound down and fall began to seep in, everyone got busy and we didn’t hang out nearly as much as we did over the summer but one of the things that we told each other was that we weren’t going to lose touch. We wouldn’t go years and years without speaking and when I got the phone call that he was gone, dozens of memories from our childhood and memories from just last summer flew around my head and I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it because, no. We promised that we wouldn’t lose touch and I didn’t realize how much time had passed since we last spoke. I didn’t realize a lot of things but as surreal as all of this is, yesterday, we said our final goodbyes and my heart still hurts for him. For his family and the stepdaughters that he left behind. My heart hurts for my friends who loved him and my heart hurts for me. He was a good friend and I’ll miss him always.

I hope you found the peace that you were seeking David and I hope you know how much we loved you.

Until we meet again my friend,


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